Letting Go of the Old for the True

Dec 19 2023 5 min read or LISTEN HERE

Here we are, coming up to the end of 2023, about to enter a new year and I’d like to ask you the big question I’m asking myself these days.

What do you want to LET GO of?

I'll start:

I'm letting go of BEING A SMALLER VERSION OF MYSELF in order for others to be comfortable around me.

I can almost hear many of you, as you read this, saying to yourselves, “Oh yeah, I know that one.”

It's a curious thing, this idea of being smaller than our True Selves actually are. It’s absolutely not what we are here for and yet, so many of us have this in our ‘survivor’ toolbox.

For a long time, being small kept us safe. Kept us invisible. Kept everyone else comfy cozy and sure as heck kept us under the radar of ongoing trouble. Well, we hoped it would anyway. And if you’re a people pleaser, being small would assure acceptance and approval from others…wouldn’t it?

Nope. Not in any meaningful way.

So, we grew up and walked along our paths toward our True Selves, and we looked at our patterns and ways of being around certain people, and we started to see that the old ways of thinking, feeling, being and living were not true. We started to claim our worth, and share our gifts, and shine our light.

But still, the old “be small” way crept in from time to time.

This kind of inner shifting from old to new-and-true You, is not a one and done thing. It’s a Living Practice. I’ve said this before - considering our inner journey’s to our Truest Selves as a practice is far more forgiving and compassionate and expansive than the illusion of “I thought I was done with this smallness thing!”

Even if you've done a lot of inner work, that old pull to be small can still show up.

Even if you have all the awareness in the world, it can still come a knockin' at your hearts door.

I believe that when our 'old ways' show up, they are there to reflect what within us needs a little more healing and releasing.

They don't rise up to annoy us.
They’re not a reflection of our 'failure'.
They’re not happening because others are 'bad' and we are 'helpless'
They’re not showing up for you to use as self-effacing proof of your lack of worth or enough-ness.
They aren’t here to ‘teach us a lesson’ - that is such a punishing perspective, not to mention outdated.

This journey inward is so much more layered, complex and beautiful than looking at it through a lens of right and wrong/good or bad.

So how about this:

What if you saw these old patterns (ie: be smaller) as invitations to go deeper in your own personal journey home?

I’m doing that these days myself because lately, I've been experiencing moments where people have literally shushed me; met me with silence when I shared my grief about my mom being dead now 7 months; and even more silence when I shared four amazing ‘wins’ that happened in my life recently

I could just ignore the fact that these situations ignite a sadness in me and an old familiar “you are too loud, too much, too expressive, too successful” story I have been learning to rewrite for years.

But I am no longer the ignoring kind of gal. I don’t ignore my inner experiences and I hope you don’t either. This too is a Living Practice.

Instead, I’m leaning in and taking a good look at what the heck is happening here.

When we take the focus off what someone else did or didn't do, said or didn't say, and we look inward, with curiosity and compassion, and ask "What is this inviting me to see?" we open a door for ourselves to a deeper healing opportunity.

Here’s how I see the old stuff coming up as:

It is an invitation to either continue to show up as our Truest Self and align with people who can meet us there (and us, them), or go back to being smaller so OTHERS can feel more comfortable.

It's all perspective, friends and this one shifts off "them" as villains and let's them just be where they are while I/we go inward and take care of ourselves.

It releases us from needing them to change for US to be okay.

So, I'm heading into 2024 letting go of being smaller so others can be comfortable in my presence. And I’m calling in the people who want to celebrate our bigness together, more authentic, free to self-express and live as our truest selves.

Now it's your turn.

What do you want to LET GO of now as we head into 2024?

My suggestion is to start by writing about it in your journal. Before the steps to “how do I do this” come into play, we first want to just spend a bit of time writing about it; giving yourself some time to see and name what you’re ready to let go of.

We’ll get to the How steps later. For now, let’s let go of the Old, and bring in the True.

With love,

Jenn

If you resonate with this but aren’t sure where to begin or HOW to do this kind of inner healing, send me a message at jennforgie@gmail.com and we can have a conversation

Photo: Anastasia Chomlack

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