Dear Barbie…

July 27, 2023 4 min read

Dear Barbie,

I haven’t seen your movie, but I will.

If I’m honest, I never really liked playing with you, when I was a kid. And admittedly, your painted on permanent smile scared me a little. I grew up in chaos that was hidden to the outside eye, so I didn’t trust that smile. No one could ever be that happy. I think I might have been on to something.

But from what I hear about your movie, you’re onto something now too.

Dear Reader,

Barbie was not for me. Too pink, too skinny, too suspiciously perfect, too…stiff. But then how could she not be after being created and molded according to other people’s vision of who she should be and how she should look, think, act, dress.

Oof that feels familiar.

I never had a Ken doll but I did once put a naked Ken in a bowl of green Jello with my bestie during University that left him suspended and jiggly in a very vulnerable position. But that’s another story.

As a kid I loved building Barbie custom furniture. I even made a three-storey apartment building with a manual elevator out of an old appliance box. And I coveted that camper she had, although many a Christmas and birthdays went by, but I never got that camper.

But Barbie herself? Not for me.

Then came Billie Eilish with her theme song What Was I Made For from the Barbie movie, that my astrologer friend, Sandy told me I had to listen to.

‘You’ll get it.’ She said. ‘You’ll love it.’

She was right.

The first time I heard the song I felt a deep sadness, a grief. I know that question, ‘What was I made for?’ and I know more women than not who carry that question secretly within them every day. It comes up with my coaching clients and in my journal programs.

What was I made for?

It’s a question about our purpose. Our worth. Our value.

A question that comes when we feel lost from our true Selves.

From trying to remember who we really were before we tucked parts of ourselves, our dreams, our gifts away, under the pressure of trying to fit into a world that wanted us to be something else. Something perfect. Something skinny. And smiley perhaps.

It’s a question that can lead us to our own brave truths about who we decide we want to be in the world, pursue, offer, express, and create.

What was I made for?

What a heart-opening, honest question. As far as the answers, well, those come from within us. And they come in time. But they only come when we open space for them through looking in.

These lines from the song lyrics really got me.

I used to float, now I just fall.
I don't know how to feel
But someday I might
Think I forgot how to be happy
Something I'm not, but something I can be
Something I wait for
Something I'm made for…

I think of Barbie – made so alive (and so unreal) for us, created by other’s imposed ideals of what she should wear, how she’d look, what she should think (was she allowed to think??) how she’d move in the world, what she’d drive, who she’d love, what she loved…no freaking wonder Barbie (and a lot of us) forgot how to be happy, how to feel.

She’s been lost from her true self.

And in this I think a lot of us can relate to her now more than ever.

Dear Barbie,

That question you’re asking, ‘What was I made for?’, well, I want you to know you’re not alone.

And I think it’s okay to be sad about what you’re seeing now; what you’ve been lost from, what you’re missing and longing for, for yourself.

We all desire to be and experience more joy, more self-love, more acceptance, more living on our purpose.

Again, I haven’t seen your movie but I’m hoping that when I do, what I’ll see is you in the juicy, messy transformation stage of your life where you really begin to let go of your perfectionism, your imposter syndrome, your worries of being enough and you start to own your own voice, your own body, and your own person and come out swinging in your fully embodied 82 year old beautiful truest you.

Don’t ditch the camper though, I really loved that.

Dear Reader,

What were you made for?

Whatever you choose, whatever you decide, I hope you let it come from the depths of your soul because yes, you have a purpose, you are worthy of more joy, of feeling your feelings, and of learning to accept and love who you are no matter what anyone else has to say about that.

Here’s to remembering who we truly are and taking our space in the world. And if that involves a camper, I’m in, even if it is pink.