When It All Starts To Feel Real.
August 4, 2023 3:47 sec listen/ 4 min read
What if we didn’t see personal growth as work?
What if we saw it as living?
Can you feel something open up, maybe soften, when you look at it from that perspective?
Last week one of my coaching client’s said to me, ‘It’s starting to feel real.’
I said, ‘What specifically?’
She spoke of her goal to have success in her business, sure, but it was when she said she felt like she could now trust herself and even love herself, that I could feel how ‘real’ it was for her.
These are the words of a woman in her 60’s who has committed to her personal growth with the support of coaching, for over a year now. And despite the sometimes uncomfortable fumbling through the mess and mire that comes with this kind of inner growth, she showed up to herself - every day.
Willing to fail, willing to be frustrated, to practice patience, to be coached, to try and try again and to call on her faith to keep her going.
I would remind her over and over, ‘This is a Living Practice’, and over time it was her who took that concept and moved it beyond her thinking mind and into her heart and body.
They are the words of a woman who is now embodying positive, encouraging, authentic thoughts and beliefs about herself and her life.
The results?
‘It’s starting to feel real.’
Her goals feel more real, she feels more joy, is making connection with friends, and she’s freaking liking herself!!
You can’t think your way into this kind of ‘realness’.
This is why I called my coaching program, The Living Practice; because this life, this whole idea of loving and accepting ourselves, our truths, and our dreams is a living practice.
Not a destination.
Not a thing to achieve.
Not a place to arrive.
And certainly not something we need to perfect.
Many years ago, and for many years I tried to think my way into personal development. I’d read the self-help books, watch the inspiring videos, write out the encouraging quotes and I’d take copious notes that I’d rarely ever go back and read. (You too?)
I was hungry for the ‘how do I heal and thrive’ steps. I wanted a map. I was impatient yet passionately desired this freedom I’d read and heard you could have when you heal and grow.
But along the way, experience showed me, just as it showed my client, that you need more than your brain to grow in the areas you desire.
You need to give yourself time and breath and space to integrate and embody the learnings, the insights, the loving beliefs and the new ways of being, through practice.
I had a therapist once say to me, ‘I’ve never had a client work so hard.’
I latched onto what she said as a badge of honour and permission to work harder.
I don’t think any of us need permission to work harder. I think we need to give ourselves permission to live more.
I ask again:
What if we didn’t see personal growth as work?
What if we considered it all a part of living?
Yes, sometimes it can feel like work and sometimes it can feel hard.
It is also true that it can feel energizing and exciting and life-enhancing.
Living in and with and through the muck, the glory, the weeds, and the light.
Alive, embodied and feeling like what you’ve been longing for within yourself and for your life is real.
Right there waiting for you to welcome it in.
Just as my client is experiencing now.
Damn, I’m so proud of her.
She’s worked hard.
Oh, did I say that? A-hem, I meant, she’s in her Living Practice, fully, beautifully and courageously.
What about you? Are you doing things hard or are you living the practice?
Jenn
Photo by Fuu J
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