What are we saying to our bodies? — Jenn Forgie Coaching

August 11, 2023 5:20 sec listen/ 5 min read

Our bodies are listening.

What the heck are we saying to them?

I’m now in my 50’s, and my body is changing.

Some things hurt more. There’s an extra something in my middle. New wrinkles, a slight looseness to my skin, my toe hurts in the mornings, and my boobs have…well…shifted.

And sure, friends and I joke about our changing bodies and how this is no longer like that, and oh, I’m starting to look like my Aunt-so-and-so, and ‘Hey, (pinches under arm pit) do you have this extra flap??’

‘It’s just teasing. We’re joking, it’s harmless’, we say.

Is it?

I think we forget that we’re listening.

I sure did recently.

We forget that we have a nervous system, a conscious and subconscious mind and these whole bodies that are listening; taking in the energy behind the things we say, feel, do.

The other day I caught myself tossing off jabs and jokes about my changing body, about this or that part, about how I didn't like the way I looked in my bathing suit, etc.

I paused.

‘Oh my goddess,’ I thought, ‘I’ve been doing this a lot lately’ – rejecting my body. Shaming it. Judging it. Disapproving of it.

It was everything I advocate not to do to ourselves.

I exercise, I have a practice of self-love and connection for my well-being, I care about how I feel and speak toward myself. I’ve learned and created this practice through my own healing journey over the years.

So what the actual EFF?!

I almost didn’t write this blog, with that initial shame I felt in seeing what I was doing to myself.

It was so not how I move in the world – but it was how I used to move.

Internalized body phobia and shaming is deep rooted, and it’s no joke.

And it can’t be tossed off as nothing. If it is, nothing changes.

As a woman, as someone who coaches other women, who believes that our deepest healing is in learning to love and accept ourselves – body included - I want you to know that I too am on this path and sometimes, like everyone, I slip up.

Being on a self-love path with ourselves, is a big responsibility and it means taking a look when our old thoughts, and feelings and beliefs and behaviours pop in for a guest star appearance.

Old habits are sneaky. They’ll steal your joy. Your confidence.

They sprout and grow from dense root systems of systemic fear, judgement, self-loathing, and shame that are passed on through generations, our families, schooling, society, marketing etc.

And they get deeply internalized.

When I was young my body’s boundaries were crossed, and I learned that I wasn't safe in the world in my body. In my teens and university years I struggled with bulimia, wore clothing that hid my body and my late-blooming breasts and I did not have a healthy relationship with my body.

Growing up I’d watch my mom struggle with her body, on and off weight watchers over many years. I can hear my father’s voice saying, “must be jelly cuz jam don’t shake like that” as he patted my ass.

There are negative messages in those words and actions and as kids we take them in…deeply.

You aren’t enough. You should be this. Your body is wrong or bad or unacceptable.

Both my mom and dad had these messages passed on to them, and they carried them in their own beings and so for it to leak out toward their kids, is no surprise.

It’s generational cycling and it can be broken. We get to be a part of that breakage.

The way to break a cycle is to go within ourselves first.

The way to break an old, sneaky habit is to create and nurture a new, juicy one.

So that’s what I’m up to and I’m inviting you to join me.

How do you speak to and about your own body?
Notice what is alive in you that may be old and also, that is not really yours.

Then write a letter to your body.

What do you want to acknowledge, give thanks for, forgive and accept?
Tell your body all you want to say. All she or he or they need to hear from you, now.

Over this next week let’s practice speaking to our bodies with deliberate kindness and appreciation.

Let’s be curious to see what it will feel like to tell our bodies how beautiful and strong they are.

How healthy they are.

How appreciated they are.

How much you value those legs that move you, the hands that type blogs, the eyes that witness love, the heart that carries you into every living moment.

Let’s see what comes alive for us in this new way, because sure as my name is Jenn, the old ways ain’t working anymore.