A Turtle, A Country Road and an Unexpected Gift
August 18, 2023 4 min read
I’d like to share a story of something that happened recently that led to an unexpected gift.
As beautiful as being in the country is, there are dark moments I still find hard to witness and accept.
Last weekend my sisters and I were driving a country road and I spotted what I thought was a large turtle on its back at the side of the road. I called out to my sister, ‘Turn around! Turn around!’
She did and as I jumped out of the car and ran towards it, I saw blood everywhere on the asphalt.
Oh no. Oh sweetie.
I hoped it was dead because then I could believe she hadn’t suffered long.
I turned her over.
A beautiful old snapping turtle who had just been hit and was still alive, though barely. Broken front arm, multiple breaks in her shell and back, broken back leg. Her head horribly gashed. So much blood.
It was unbearable to see.
I find it nearly impossible to witness the innocent harmed by humans without feeling my heart shatter. I know…I’m not alone.
I quickly searched on my phone for wildlife rescues. One was 19 km away.
I grabbed my yellow yoga mat from the car and cried as I placed this beautiful, broken creature on the mat. She must have weighed 30, maybe 40 pounds.
She opened her mouth slightly. Tried to move one leg.
‘I’m sorry, Beauty,’ I said as I moved her, ’I’m sorry.’
I didn’t have a plan. I only knew I could not leave her there.
Then I noticed her tail tuck in under herself and her movements slowed. She was dying.
I decided I would carry her to the water she was likely trying to reach when she was crossing the road before she’d been run over.
My sisters followed slowly behind me in the car as I made my way with her down and across the road to a field.
I found a peaceful shallow marsh brook and ever so gently, I laid her there. I found a feather to place across her back and I whispered a teary prayer, a made-up sacred blessing for her journey that would soon take her beyond her brokenness.
Walking back to the car, I was flooded with deep sorrow, helplessness and then anger at the ‘heartless’ human(s) who left this beautiful turtle to die and ‘how could they?!!’
It was when my sister said, ‘Sometimes people veer to avoid an animal and they misjudge,’ that I softened my own perspective.
It’s true, we can’t really know what happened and villainizing road-traveling humans would ease nothing for the turtle or my heart, and would not change the fact that this trauma happened.
Also true is that I felt and feel blessed to have spotted her and then help her to what I hope was a soft, safe final resting place as she let go.
I’ve been thinking of this innocent creature all week, and amoung many of my thoughts, there was this one:
How many of us have endured trauma in our most innocent times of our lives and were left to absorb that trauma in our bodies, our minds and hearts and how can we deepen our healing?
Turning to my journal, I sifted through a few of the innocent years in my life where trauma was inflicted and I felt helpless.
And then, as though divinely dropped into my mind, through my body, out my pen and onto the page, came the gift of this journal prompt which I now offer to you.
Think of a part of you at a time, or times in your life when you were innocent and harmed. Write a blessing, a prayer, a sacred offering… to this part of you, from you now.
After I journaled to this part of myself, I felt…peaceful. Calm. Something had shifted within me.
I could not protect that turtle from the harm that was done to her, just as I – we - could not protect ourselves from the harm we had endured.
But I believe we can continue to heal those parts of ourselves.
And I believe that healing comes from soul-led prayers and sacred blessings gilded with the golden light of love and compassion.
Journaling in this way can provide the grounds to open ourselves to healing in meaningful ways.
Who better to bless, to make safe now our trauma selves than ourselves?
Days later, as I carry this turtle with me and explore the many stories, meanings and symbols of turtles, it is these that resonate the most:
Turtles represent strength, healing, spirituality, transformation and life.
Thank you, dear One, for the gift.
Jenn
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